Faith. I’ve learnt to live by faith, so that I’ll be able to get the final product God wants me to have. Just let everything go for now - something that I constantly remind myself everyday.
As I return from church camp today, I felt really bliss and fortunate that I went for it in the end. I went for the camp with an apprehensive heart, not knowing what to expect or what will happen as my roomie was only arriving on Saturday, few of my clique members are with me and I just felt awkward and lost. But thank God, I managed to push myself and engage in conversations with new people, they really impacted my life. I would also like to thank all those who gave in to me despite me being demanding to me, I’m really sorry about that :/ Thank God, thank God for sending all these people into my life, I can’t imagine what I’ll do without them. Everything that was happened to me, I really feel grateful. I also witnessed God’s greatness through Samantha’s miracle. I’ll never forget it, really a great miracle with angels cheering for her. Also, with many having the vision of waters flowing out of church, I think we fulfilled our theme of Evangelism this year. Learning how to evanglise is easy, but carrying out is hard. I hope that with this camp, I myself would also improve on my evangelising skills as well as open up to more people so that I can get myself out of the sad situation I was in a month ago. I’m still sad about what happened, but I know I have to let go in order to receive God’s abundant goodies that he has prepared for me.
why, why is it so hard? So hard to release myself from the pain. You’re enjoying your freedom but I’m suffering. You’re so happy while I’m trying to act happy. You’re so cruel but I still want you back someday. You’re flirting with other people but here I am, trying to forget you. I’m starting to learn to hate you, every word that comes out of your mouth seems so irritating now even though it seems funny and playful a year ago. I miss the times we’ve had, yes I do and I/m contradicting myself. Seems like its true that once you’ve tasted a r/s, you wouldn’t be able to live without one after that. Why am I so screwed up? :/
I need to forget and forgive you, its the only way for me to let go of everything.